How to Deal with an Unfair Termination of Employment

As an organizational psychologist, I hear many stories about how employees and managers have had to end their employment. Fortunately, some of these stories have happy endings, but many are also heartbreaking. This post is therefore for those who—whether right now or in the past—have experienced being treated with disrespect when they left their jobs, regardless of whether they were fired or resigned on their own.

Unfortunately, you can’t always expect a respectful farewell from colleagues or managers if you haven’t experienced respect and care during your employment. It’s important to remember that sometimes simply getting out of a bad relationship or situation is a reward in itself.

The background to this post is that a client recently quit her job due to harassment. Her boss told her that, because things were so busy, she would not be getting a farewell party. She was upset and felt that this was yet another insult on top of the others. Her words, which I’ve been given permission to share, were: “I feel humiliated. I’ve done so much for this workplace and for the team. I feel like I’m being escorted out the back door!”

I understand how she feels, but here’s my perspective, which my client was relieved to hear:

Sometimes we get so caught up in expecting others to show us the respect we know we deserve that we forget that, in some situations, it’s enough just to walk away. Some people will try to make you feel insignificant when the relationship ends—as if you aren’t good enough—often so they don’t have to face themselves or the challenge. In these situations, you can choose to find comfort in the fact that you’re no longer in that situation.

When you find yourself in a dangerous situation, the most important thing is to get away

Don’t expect a respectful farewell from people who didn’t treat you with respect “during” the relationship (whether at work or in your personal life). Instead, view these relationships as if you were trapped in a dangerous situation. Imagine you were trapped inside a burning house. You wouldn’t insist on having to go out through the front door. Just getting out is something to be grateful for. The exact same principle applies in these situations.

Remember that when dysfunctional relationships end—whether you were the one who ended it or not—you don’t need a respectful goodbye. Of course, it’s nice to get one, but if you don’t, that’s just further proof that leaving the relationship was absolutely the right thing for you to do.

If you’ve had a difficult experience in your professional life that you still feel is holding you back or affecting how you see yourself and how secure you feel at work, it’s important to work through it so you don’t go about your daily life burdened by it.

Please feel free to contact me for a no-obligation conversation by email at mame@selfgrowthcompany.com or by phone at +45 27640477.

No one's respect is more important to you than your own.