Why You Don't Get the Opportunities You "Deserve"

You work hard at your job. You receive praise. But unfortunately, praise isn't worth much if it doesn't lead to the opportunities you actually want. 

In my work as an organizational psychologist, I often meet ambitious people who are caught in this very trap. They perform at a high level, but they passively wait for their efforts to automatically translate into the next step in their careers. Meanwhile, they are fobbed off with recognition.

Praise is free

It requires no changes—no new tasks, no new responsibilities, no promotion, and no raise. A leader can offer praise in the moment and move on, without your situation or the organization having to change one bit.

At the same time, receiving praise feels reassuring and nice. It tells you that you’re seen and appreciated—and that can easily be interpreted as proof that your manager would give you more if they could.

Because you don’t sense any resistance on their part, you don’t press the issue. You don’t want to be a hassle or take up too much of their time. You just want to continue being the person who’s easy to work with and who always gets the job done.

The problem is thateveryday praise can keep you stuck—right where you are.

Your wishes also benefit the workplace

The key thing to remember is that what you want or ask for—whether it’s a promotion, a new and exciting assignment, or a raise—will likely also benefit your workplace. As you grow, you can continue to add value, and you’ll avoid burning out or looking for a new job.

When you stand up for your wishes and needs, you’re doing it for yourself—but in the long run, you’re also doing it for your workplace.

Yes, it may be difficult for your manager right now. Your manager might even lose you to another department within the organization. It’s perfectly okay to be understanding that things take time. Butyou need to keep pushingand follow up regularly. Your manager has a lot on their plate and can easily put your requests on the back burner because of other pressing priorities.

Your Actual Bargaining Position

If you're an employee who not only gets the job done, finds solutions to challenges, and comes to work in a good mood, remember one thing:You have power.

If you don't express what you need, you'll eventually end up frustrated and insecure. The result? You'll decide to look for opportunities somewhere else entirely. And losing talent is costly for workplaces.

So keep in mind that insisting isn’t a burden on your manager. In fact, it’s your way of giving the workplace a real chance to keep you on.

One last request for you

Try today to let go of the idea that what’s good for you is at odds with what’s good for your manager.

Think of something you'd like to see happen at work. Identify the mutual benefits, and make them the starting point for your next conversation with your manager.

It’s not you versus the workplace—it’s you as a team. And a sustainable work life is created where your interests and the organization’s framework actually align.